I am a terrible blogger. I have been absent for near a week. In my defense, work has been crazy!! Honestly, when isn't it crazy. And since I'm only ever on-line while at work, it means that sometimes I go a week without an update. Part of the reason why I refuse to be online at home, is the ancient machine we call our home computer. We are in the process of "upgrading" to Chris' desktop. But the transition has been slow. We mainly use our home computer for photo storage and personal banking. It's the banking software that is the issue. I need to go out soon and get a new program to load on the "new" computer so that the transition is complete. Then perhaps, we'll reformat my hard drive and use it as a backup? Not sure. At this point I don't care. College screwed my computer. Of this I am sure. A laptop is being discussed for us as well. The plan would be to use the desktop for storage and banking, but ultimately unplug the internet. And use the laptop for internet use.
The second reason I don't go on-line at home, is simply because I'm on-line all day at work. I schedule time out of my day to get my personal things done on the internet, so that when I'm home, I'm home and it's one less thing that takes my mind from my family (read my husband and me). I have enough to do when I go home (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc). Cutting the internet out of my night and weekend life, means I have so much more time to go on walk with the hubs, guiltily watch Grey's Anatomy, and bake cookies.
Speaking of guilty pleasure TV shows - I have made an important decision. Well I should say, my husband offered some wise words and I think acting upon them is best. For 2 years I have been a devoted follower of a reality TV show, about a large family. The kids were/are adorable to watch. I was encouraged by the values the family seemed to portray. Though recently tabloid rumors have taken over and gossip is spreading faster than the swine flu. A wedge has been driven between this family. I'm sure you all know what show I'm talking about. On the season premiere, I cried like a baby. I honestly hurt for this husband and wife that have become strangers to one another. This Monday's episode, wasn't a surprise, but again I cried. I don't know why. I guess now that I'm married, I hold marriage so sacred and special that I understand how it must hurt to lose it.
I hate that as a nation we care more about who's cheating on who, how much so-and-so celebrity weighs, or what designer purse people carry. Since when is it ok to make millions of dollars off selling pictures, stories, rumors, lies to the tabloids and gossip magazines. It's disgusting! And I realized how much I'm encouraging the activity by watching this show. Will the network miss my viewership? Probably not. They won't even notice. But if continuing to watch the show is only going to upset me each week and callus my heart more and more, it's not worth the cuteness of the kids. Last night, while at Barnes & Noble I was reading a magazine and I turned the page to see a centerfold story about the family. I read the headline and turned the page. On Sunday I would have read the article. I'm a gossip. I know it. I'm not proud of it. I'm learning how that part of my needs to change.
I think the thing that depresses me the most is this; does America not think that a marriage is worth fighting for?? I don't know these people. Perhaps they fought for their marriage. I don't know. But the editing on the show leads me to think that they didn't. That they laid down and let Satan weasle his way in and slowing and slyly tear them apart. My marriage is of supreme important to me (second only to God). But marriages are fragile. They need to be surrounded by sturdy walls. Walls that protect against outward assalt and keep conversations private, eyes from straying, and build trust. What is your marriage worth to you? Is it worth fighting for? I earnestly hope and pray that it is.
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